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About Medan

I reckon it’s a game of masks. Folks strut about, all “look at me,” but half’s fake as a wooden shilling. Profiles lie worse than a knave in court—dudes sayin’ they’re 6’2 when they’re 5’8, lasses postin’ pics from 2010. Drives me up the wall, it does! Last week, I matched this bird—gorgeous, right? Bio says “loves hikes, deep chats.” Meet her, and she’s glued to her phone, mumbling ‘bout TikTok. I’m like, “Thou art not what thou seem’st!” Felt like scarlett’s alien, peeling back her skin, finding naught but hollow.

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But then, outta nowhere, this stray dog comes up. Like, he’s lookin’ at me like I’m his long-lost best friend. I’m tryin’ to eat my bananas, and this dude’s just starin’. I’m like, “Bro, I can’t share. You’ll just eat my whole stash!” But he’s persistent. So, I toss him a piece. He gobbles it up like it’s the best thing ever. I’m feelin’ all warm and fuzzy inside.

Beer man Selong Smith, quenching thirsts since Sportsman's Park