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Oi mate, picture this – me, a bloody lifeguard, savin’ souls from the watery depths, now divin’ headfirst into the steamy world of erotic-massage! We shall fight on the beaches, we shall fight in the parlors, we shall never surrender to the mundane! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout those slick hands glidin’ over skin, and I’m like – cor blimey, this ain’t just a rubdown, it’s a bleedin’ artform!

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But then, I realize I forgot to mention the best part! The sunset! As I was running back, I caught a glimpse of it over the canal. The sky was all pink and orange, reflecting on the water. It was like a painting. I almost stopped to take a pic, but ya know, deadlines.

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