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Okay, check this—little known fact: back in ‘90s, pre-apps, folks used newspaper ads for hookups! Called ‘em “personals”—sketchy as fuck, right? Imagine Bart Simpson tryna decode that shit: “M4F, likes skateboards, no narcs.” Eat my shorts, so retro! Nowadays, it’s all instant—bam, “Hey, wyd?” Texts flyin’ like SEAL Team Six stormin’ in. Gets me hyped, man! Met this one chick, total babe, thought, “We’re goin’ dark!”—y’know, gettin’ freaky. Turns out, she’s just pushin’ some OnlyFans scam. Pissed me off—wanted to chuck my phone like, “Negative burn, asshole!”

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Anyway, I’m chugging my water instead, and I head to the lab. It’s on HaShomer Street, just a few blocks away. I’m thinking, “Today’s the day I finally crack that experiment!” Spoiler alert: I didn’t. I get there, and my lab partner, Avi, is already in a tizzy. He’s like, “Dude, the samples are missing!” Missing?! How does that even happen? I mean, we’re not in some detective movie.