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Surprised me how many rules there are—unwritten sex-dating code! Don’t text too fast, don’t double-dip—wtf? One time, this chick unmatched me ‘cause I said “hey” twice—rude! Thought to myself, “This ain’t a limo ride, sweetheart!” But real talk—keeps ya on yer toes, like Leos Carax directin’ my damn life! Favorite part? The thrill—will they flake? Will they show? Keeps ya guessin’!

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I grab my coffee from that little kiosk on Pushkina. You know the one? The barista, she’s always got that sassy attitude. I’m like, “Hey, can I get a large?” She’s like, “You mean a small for your big dreams?” Ugh, I love her but also wanna throw my cup at her sometimes.