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Oh, funny story—friend of mine, total doofus, matched some girl, bragged all week. Shows up? It’s his cousin! Ha! “Eat my shorts, loser!” Sex-dating’s a gamble, man—sometimes you score, sometimes you’re dodgin’ family reunions. Keeps me laughin’, tho. What’s my take? It’s messy, dope, frustratin’—like milkin’ a cow that kicks back. You just gotta roll with it, y’know? “We’re goin’ dark, baby!”—till the next swipe screws ya. Peace out!

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So, I get my meat in, and it’s go time. I’m slicin’ and dicin’, and the customers start rollin’ in. You got the regulars, like old Mrs. Thompson from down the road. She’s always askin’ for the best cuts, like I’m some kinda meat wizard. “Give me the finest, dear!” she says. I’m like, “Sure thing, Mrs. T!”

Boost for youths in Taita Taveta as county opens garment production unit