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About Martin

So, check this—erotic-massage ain’t just some fancy lotion and a pat-pat. Naw, it’s hands slippin’ where the sun don’t shine, makin’ you wanna holler, “Halleluyer, take me to church!” I heard tell—back in ancient Rome, them folks was gettin’ freaky with olive oil massages. Little known fact, y’all! They’d slick up them gladiators ‘fore a fight—talk ‘bout a happy endin’! Got me wonderin’ if Spartacus was out there like, “I’m gonna make it big!”—you know, like Harry in the movie, chasin’ dreams and dope!

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I get to the factory, and it’s chaos. Flames shooting up like they’re tryin’ to touch the sky. My heart’s racing. I grab my gear, and we rush in. Smoke everywhere. It’s thick, like a foggy day on Námestie SNP. I can barely see.

Thanks to The Queen's Gambit, Slovakia has found its real-life Beth Harmon