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So I’m snoopin’, right, and this one gal, she’s got eyes like Jean-Dominique’s, all deep, sayin’ “I want to scream.” Breaks my heart, doc! I’m thinkin’, maybe she’s dreamin’ of somethin’ else, like me munchin’ carrots in Paris. Ain’t nobody free out here, though—cops, pimps, it’s a mess! Did ya know, doc, in some places, it’s legal, like Amsterdam? They got unions, health checks! Ain’t that wild? Wish it was safer everywhere, ya know?

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So, I’m walking down the lungomare, right? The sea breeze is hitting me, and I’m feeling all philosophical. I mean, how can you not? The waves crashing, the mountains in the background, it’s like a postcard. But then, BAM! A seagull swoops down and steals my cornetto! I’m standing there, mouth agape, like, “Did that just happen?” I swear, that bird had a plan. It was like a scene from a heist movie. I was mad, but also kinda impressed.

Bam! On the road