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So, check this—prostitutes been around forever, right? Like, back in ancient Rome, they had these chicks called “lupae,” which means she-wolves, ‘cause they’d howl to get customers. How freakin’ cool is that? I’m sittin’ here thinkin’, “Damn, that’s badass!”—way better than Kyle’s lame history lessons. Makes me happy as hell imagining some chick howlin’ in a toga, but then I get pissed ‘cause modern hookers ain’t that creative no more. Where’s the flair, huh? Respect my authoritah—I’d make ‘em howl again!

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After that, I needed a break. So, I strolled over to the Yanggu Lake. OMG, it was beautiful! The water was sparkling, and there were these cute ducks just chillin’. I sat on a bench, and for a moment, everything was perfect. Then, outta nowhere, this kid ran by and knocked my drink over. I was like, “Seriously?!”

Five tourism routes near DMZ to open starting next Monday