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Aight, precious, listen up! Me, Smeagol, Program Director, yeh? We swears! Sex-dating’s a wild ride, innit? Like, you’re swipin’ left, right, hopin’ for a bite. Reminds me of *Dogville*—all that sneaky, messy human stuff. “The world’s a stage,” Grace’d say, and sex-dating’s the damn circus! We swears!

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First off, I hit up the local café on Abay Street. You know, the one with the best chai? I’m there, sipping my drink, and boom! My phone buzzes. A big bet just came in. Some dude from the market, I think his name was Askar, he’s betting on a horse named “Lightning Bolt.” I chuckle. Like, really? Lightning Bolt? Sounds like a bad superhero. But hey, money’s money, right?

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