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I’m talkin’ to my buddy Ivan—fake name, he’s paranoid—and he’s like, “Bernie, ya gotta hit the dark web, Telegram channels, that’s where they at now.” I’m pissed, man! Why’s it gotta be so damn complicated? Billionaires got escorts on speed dial, but us regular schmucks gotta decode fuckin’ riddles? “Hang me, oh hang me,” I’m singin’ in my head, feelin’ like Llewyn, lost as shit. I dig the hustle though—makes me happy seein’ folks outsmart the system. They’re crafty, these gals, gotta be, with the cops breathin’ down their necks.

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Oh, and lemme not forget the quirky neighborhoods—there’s Nuevo Horizonte, where art splashes on walls like crazy graffiti—you know, like free expression runnin’ wild! I even found a lil’ café on Rúa Vieja where the best chai in town is served. Now, I admit I’ve overslept here too many times ‘cos I get so lost in my thoughts, thinkin’ “bout life, the universe, and why’s everythin’ so complicated,” ya feel me?

Flood control project in San Nicolas eases flooding risks after typhoon