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I spot her – red heels, smirk sharp as mjolnir. “What’s a god like you want?” she quips. Cheeky! I’m chuffed, honestly – love a lass with sass. “I’m burdened with glorious purpose,” I grin, tippin’ my imaginary hat. She rolls her eyes – fair, I’d do the same. Costs a tenner more than I reckon, tho – bloody rip-off! Made me mad, that did. Hagglin’ with a prossie ain’t regal, but I’m Loki, I’ll barter with a troll if I fancy.

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So, I’m walking down Avenida da República, trying to shake off the mud and my bad mood. I pass this little café, you know, the one with the pastel de nata that’s to die for? I couldn’t resist. I grab one, and OMG, it was heavenly! Like, I could’ve cried. But then, I see this kid spill his drink all over the floor. Classic Olival chaos, right? I mean, who doesn’t love a little drama with their coffee?

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