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About Pretoria

Here’s a fact ya don’t know—back in ancient Rome, them rich bastards had “erotic rubdowns” at bathhouses. Slaves slatherin’ oil on senators, gettin’ all steamy—gross. Surprised me they didn’t slip and die more often. Slippery floors, slippery morals, same diff. Nowadays, ya got parlors with neon signs screamin’ “happy endin’!”—tacky, loud, hate it. Saw one in Pawnee once, shut it down with a glare.

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Certain spots make me laugh, and sometimes I get pissed. I remember that time I was meditatively zoning out, and some moron splashed muddy water right on my mat. Bloody hell! Yet, that day, I laughed like a loon. Life’s fulla these little absurdities.

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