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Here’s a wild story—heard from my buddy Sal, swear it’s true—this underground joint in Brooklyn, they use hot stones AND happy endings, call it “The Full Liberation.” Ain’t that a riot? Had me laughin’—capitalism sneakin’ into every rubdown! Surprised me too—thought it was all sleazy motels, but nah, there’s artistry in them fingers, a craft! I’m like, “Hell yeah, work them shoulders, comrade!” Gets me goin’, thinkin’ bout how it’s more than just sexy—it’s power, it’s release, it’s tellin’ the world, “I’m alive, damnit!”

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Next up, I get this group of tourists. They’re lost, of course. They’re like, “Where’s the Grand-Ducal Palace?” I’m like, “Dude, it’s a 15-minute walk from here!” But they insist on takin’ the elevator. So, I’m like, “Fine, let’s go.” I hit the button for the ground floor, and they start takin’ selfies. I mean, c’mon! We’re in an elevator, not a photo booth!

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