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So, erotic-massage—proper lush, yeah? Gets the ol’ ticker goin’, *thump-thump*! Used to nick me dad’s old razor oil, smelled like a tart’s boudoir, rubbed it on me elbows—felt dead sensual, I reckon! Little fact for ya: back in Victorian times, barbers did massages too, sneaky buggers, probly slipped in a naughty one! *giggles, trips over chair* Oi, don’t tell the missus!

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Long story short, we lure the cat down with tuna. The crowd goes wild! I’m feeling like a hero. But then, I realize I’m late for a meeting. Again. I dash back to the office, and my team’s like, “Where were you?” I’m like, “Saving lives, obviously.”