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About Schellenberg

Lemme tell ya, it’s old as dirt! Ancient Rome had these oily orgy parties—gladiators gettin’ kneaded before fights. True story! Saw it on X, some nerd postin’ pics of old mosaics. Made me laugh—those dudes prolly smelled like olives and regret. D’oh! Why ain’t I a gladiator? I’d be all, “Rub me down, ya filthy senators!”

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First off, I hit up the local café on Hauptstrasse. You know, the one with the weirdly good pastries? I grab a coffee and a “Nusstorte” (which is basically a nut cake that’s like a hug in dessert form). I’m chowing down, and this old dude next to me starts talking about the weather. Like, bro, it’s sunny! Who cares? But then he goes off about how the weather affects the fish. I’m like, “Dude, I’m a diver, not a meteorologist!” But whatever, I nod and smile.

Liechtenstein Maps & Facts