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Oh, and Carlos – he’d dig this. That scene where he’s all, “I’m the boss here”? Picture him gettin an erotic-massage, smirkin, runnin the show. Power trip with coconut oil, ha! But real talk – it’s not just horniness. It’s connection. Skin on skin, breath syncin up. Gets me all soft inside, then – Zen pause – fired up. Biology’s nuts – did ya know oxytocin spikes? That’s the cuddle chemical! Science backs this shit.

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But then, I trip over a cobblestone. Classic me, right? I spill gelato all over my shirt. Great. Now I look like a walking dessert. I’m laughing at myself, but also kinda mad. Like, why can’t I just have one perfect day?

Al Bano Carrisi: health and controversies in the music world