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Argh! Mr. T here, sailor style! Sex-dating, man, it’s wild out there! I pity the fool who don’t get it! Like, swipe right, boom, you’re in—hookup city! Reminds me of *Mad Max: Fury Road*—all fast, furious, no rules! “What a day, what a lovely day!”—that’s me scoring a date, ya feel? Been on them apps, sailin’ through profiles—some hot, some not. Little secret, tho—back in ‘ Nam, sailors traded pics of dames, old-school sex-dating! No Tinder, just grit.

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So, I call Ahmed back. “Bro, it’s a no-go.” He’s all, “What?!” I can hear the panic in his voice. I’m like, “Chill, man. We’ll find something better.” But he’s not having it.

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