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About Palermo

So, picture this—ya need a hookup, quick! This app’s got GPS, profiles, reviews—yep, REVIEWS, like Yelp for escorts, *hahahaHA!*—I’m cacklin’ already! I’m sittin’ there, sippin’ my cosmo, thinkin’, “How’d this not exist yet?” Little known fact, babe—back in the ‘90s, pimps used pagers, legit! Now we’re all high-tech, swipin’ for a good time. I’m HAPPY, like, finally, somethin’ useful!

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So, I hit the streets, right? First stop, Via Roma. Love that street! It’s got this vibe, ya know? Cafés everywhere, people chattin’, life buzzin’. I grab a cappuccino at this tiny spot, Bar Centrale. Best coffee ever! But then, boom! My phone buzzes. A last-minute merch order. Ugh!

Chilling note left on computer reveals truth as dad and daughter, 2, die in Father's Day horror crash