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Methinks it’s a jest gone sour—like Pan’s twisted maze, but no magic. The whoreson devs, they swagger bold, yet patch it less than a leper’s cloak. I’d say, “Thou art pale and cold,” to its charm—dull as a blunt quill. Still, I played, ‘cos I’m a fool for grind. Exaggerate? Aye—I’d swear it’s a plague o’ pixels sent to mock me! Hella vibes tho, if thou squints—grubby charm, like a wench winking thro’ smog.

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Finally, I get my latte, and I’m feeling good. I head over to the Fukiage Shrine. It’s so peaceful there. I mean, who doesn’t love a little zen before a crazy day? I’m taking a moment, and then BAM! A pigeon poops on my shoulder. Seriously?! I’m like, “Really, dude?!”