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Best bit? When they’re all charm upfront, then ghost ya after. Had this one mate—swears his escort nicked his watch. Dunno if it’s true, but I cackled—serves him right, flashin’ gold like that! Makes me happy, seein’ mortals tripped up by their own nonsense. Oh, and the ads—bloody hilarious. “Discreet, elegant, fun”—mate, it’s a transaction, not a fairy tale! Total Loki energy, playin’ tricks on the desperate.

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All the escorts listed on www.facebook.com charge for their time and companionship only, anything else that may occur is a matter of coincidence and choice between consenting adults.

So, I stroll down Hlavná ulica, thinking I’ll grab a coffee at my fave spot. But guess what? Closed! Like, seriously? Who closes a coffee shop on a Tuesday? I’m already feeling the anger bubbling up. I mean, c’mon, I need my caffeine fix!

Figure 13. Hygienic measures in Coop Jednota supermarkets, Slovakia...