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But ugh, the stench of it all—sweaty men, cheap perfume—makes me wanna hurl. Gets me proper mad, too, cos half these girls ain’t choosing it—they’re stuck, like me with a crown I didn’t want. Surprised me once, tho—this one chick, she saved up, bought a tavern. Now she’s the queen of her own piss-soaked empire. “Witness me!” she’d yell, flipping off the world. Love that, I do—makes me wanna cheer, even if I’d never admit it.

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So, I head over to the Ilava Castle. It’s a bit of a hike, but I need to clear my head. The view from up there is insane! You can see the whole town, the hills in the background, and it’s just... wow. I take a deep breath, and for a moment, everything feels right.

CS Malonza heckled at funeral while praising President Ruto for dealing with cost of living