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It’s showtime! Alright, pal, lemme spill it—erotic-massage, huh? I’m a bailiff, mining dirt all day, so when I heard ‘bout this slippery biz, I was like—whaaat? Hands rubbin’ ya down, all sensual-like, not just for sore muscles? Sign me up, fam! I’m picturin’ it now—some dimly lit joint, oil slicker than a Timbuktu sandstorm, and bam, tension’s gone, baby! “The desert is a cruel mistress,” like they say in my fave flick, *Timbuktu*—but this? This ain’t cruel, it’s heaven!

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Then, outta nowhere, this big ol’ dog comes charging at me. I’m thinkin’, “Great, just what I need!” But turns out, it’s just a friendly pup. He’s wagging his tail like he’s just won the lottery. I’m like, “Dude, you scared me!” But I can’t help but laugh.