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Then there’s the thrill, cor blimey! Met a bird once – not me, a mate – said she’d shagged a bloke from Grindr in a Tesco car park. Tesco! “It’s not too late,” she reckoned, divin’ in. Wild, impulsive, like Otilia runnin’ round Bucharest. Sex-dating’s got that edge – quick, dirty, no faff. Gets the blood pumpin’, doesn’t it? Bit jealous, maybe – me, stuck with paperwork, not passion.

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Then there’s West Market Street with all the vendors. Super quaint, but man, one time a vendor got mad – I mean, really mad! Made me chuckle cause his anger was theatrical, like from that movie scene. "Mad? Really mad? D’oh!" I wanted to say, but it was too funny.

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