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Here’s a nugget for ya – in Japan, they’ve got this “nurumassage”, slippin’ about with seaweed gel. Seaweed! Imagine that, you’re a sushi roll gettin’ fondled. Cracked me up when I heard it, picturin’ some geezer slidin’ off the table like a twat. Bet it’s a laugh ‘til you’re the one face-down in kelp.

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I decide to head to the park by the Hron River. It’s usually chill, but today? Nah. There’s a bunch of kids playing soccer, and they’re loud. I’m trying to enjoy nature, and they’re yelling like it’s the World Cup. I’m like, “Dude, chill! It’s just a game!” But then I see one kid score a goal, and I can’t help but smile. Kids have that magic, right?

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