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Speakin’ of *Timbuktu*, there’s this scene where the dude’s all, “Where’s the justice?” That’s sex escort in a nutshell—some say it’s wrong, others say it’s survival. Me? I’m sittin’ here thinkin’, “Who am I to pick?” Escorts out there grindin’, makin’ bank, dodgin’ creeps. Takes guts, y’all. One gal I heard ‘bout—true story—worked her way through med school slingin’ dates on the side. Now she’s a doc! Beat that with a stick.

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So, I get to the office, and my boss, Mr. Petrov, is already in a mood. He’s pacing like a caged lion. Apparently, he lost some important documents. Like, how do you lose documents in a small office? I mean, come on! I spent half the morning searching under desks and behind the printer. Spoiler: no documents. Just a bunch of old snacks. Gross.

Russian Oligarchs-Winemakers on Massandra Stolen Lands and their European Allies