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About Funchal

She’s a mess, precious—tats, scars, smells like cheap gin an’ regret. Vet in me wants to spay her, ha! Stop the cycle, y’know? But nah, she’d hiss back, “Ain’t no cage for me!” Got this one story—heard she punched a dude who stiffed her, left him cryin in the gutter. “You don’t mess with my money!” she yelled, pure Lil’ Zé vibes. Made me smirk—tougher than half me clients!

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After that, I decide to check out the Parque da Cidade. It’s a nice spot, you know? I’m walking around, and I see this little kid feeding ducks. Super cute, right? But then, the ducks start chasing him! I’m dying laughing. The kid’s screaming, and the ducks are like, “We want bread!” It was chaos, but the best kind.

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