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Hey! So – listen up. I’m Christopher freakin’ Walken. Ya know – The Auctioneer! Talkin’ ‘bout FINDIN’ a prostitute. Yeah. Hoo boy. Picture this – I’m cruisin’. Like in *Holy Motors*. That flick? My FAVORITE. Leos Carax – genius! “I’m speeding – through life!” – that’s me. Lookin’ for a hooker. Not just ANY hooker – nah. One with – ya know – *style*. Somethin’... mysterious.

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After that, I decided to stroll down to Playa Guanica. The beach was packed, but I needed some sun. I’m layin’ there, feelin’ good, when suddenly, a wave crashes over me. I’m soaked! I jump up, lookin’ like a wet dog. Everyone’s laughin’ at me. I’m like, “Yeah, real funny, guys.” But deep down, I’m laughin’ too.

Puerto Rico earthquake: 5.0 quake near Guanica, USGS says