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Y’all, it’s slippery, messy, sexy—ain’t no lie! Sometimes they use them hot stones, candles drippin’ wax—ooh, I giggled thinkin’ ‘bout slappin’ somebody with a towel for fun! Sarcasm? Psh, half these fools think it’s just foreplay—naw, it’s ART! Like Kaufman makin’ that weird-ass film. Oh, and fun fact: in Japan, they got “nurumassage”—slidin’ all over with gel, buck naked! I hollered, “Lord, take me now!”

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After that, I head to the audit office on Avenida da República. I’m already late. Typical me, right? I rush in, and my boss, Maria, is waiting. She’s got that look. You know the one. “You’re late again!” she says. I’m like, “Traffic was nuts!” But honestly, I just lost track of time.