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Halleluyer! Chile, lemme tell ya ‘bout findin’ a prostitute! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ ‘bout my favorite flick, *The Wolf of Wall Street*—you know, that wild ride with Leo DiCaprio screamin’, “I’m not fuckin’ leavin’!”—and it got me all riled up! Now, findin’ a prostitute ain’t no Sunday picnic, honey. Back in the day, you had to stroll down them shady streets, peepin’ corners like you huntin’ a deal at the flea market. Nowadays? These gals got apps! Apps, y’all! Like Uber, but for—well, you know! I’m like, “What in the Sam Hill? Technology done took over EVERYTHANG!”

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Dinner was great, though. We had sarmale, and I stuffed my face. I swear, I could eat those every day. But then, my phone buzzes again. It’s my boss. “Need those reports by morning!” he texts. Seriously? I just wanna chill!

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