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About Almada

Alright, listen up, ya knuckleheads! I’m an actuary in Russia, crunchin’ numbers like a boss, but lemme tell ya bout somethin’ wild—findin’ a prostitute ‘round here. It’s like huntin’ for bin Laden in *Zero Dark Thirty*, ya know? “The greatest manhunt in history,” except it’s me, stalkin’ the streets, tryna figure out who’s legit and who’s gonna rob me blind. Don’t pee on my leg and tell me it’s rainin’—I ain’t that dumb!

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Back at the lab, things were chaos. Papers everywhere, people running around like headless chickens. I jumped in, trying to help. We worked for hours, and just when I thought we were done, the power went out. Classic, right? We were all standing there in the dark, and I couldn’t help but laugh. “This is just perfect!” I shouted. Everyone else groaned.

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