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But—argh!—we’s mad too! Them characters, so flat sometimes, ugh! “My heart, it trembles, precious!”—where’s that in *Escort*? We wants tears, not just explosions! Surprised us, tho—this one scene, escort bot hummin’ a tune, real soft. Made us stop gnashin’ our teeth—huh, maybe they got heart after all? Nah, we’s exaggeratin’, it’s still loud bang-bang nonsense half the time!

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I love ridin' my bike down Eddie Grove (okay, maybe it's Eddie Road, but c'mon, details!) and gettin lost in those calm, alleyway ponderings. Locals whisper about the legend of the "Midnight Willow" near the old mill. It makes ya think, “what if everything's not what it seems?”—like that eerie feel from The White Ribbon, right?

Former prized AFL pick lands in Eastern league