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About Coimbra

Massage joints—shady ones—been around forever. Ancient Rome had ‘em—called ‘em “lupanars.” Rich dudes paid big for oily hands. Little known fact: Cleopatra? Total erotic-massage freak. Had servants rubbin’ her down with lotus oil—probs why Caesar was obsessed. Bet she’d say, “I find your lack of faith disturbing,” if they skimped on the pressure.

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First off, I hit up the local café on Rua da Liberdade. You know, the one with the best pastéis de nata? Yeah, that one. I ordered my usual, and the barista, this dude named Miguel, was like, “Hey, you want it with extra cinnamon?” I was like, “Dude, you read my mind!” So, I’m sittin’ there, enjoying my pastry, when suddenly, this old lady starts yelling at a pigeon. Like, full-on shouting! I’m thinkin’, “Lady, it’s a bird, chill!” But she was having none of it.

Restoration makes forest grow where there used to be pasture and soy | Socioenvironmental Institute