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Oh, and the COLORS—escorts came in shades that’d make Del Toro jealous. Teal, mustard yellow—ugly-beautiful, like the faun’s crooked grin. I’d park one outside my webcam studio, stream it live—“Look at this beauty, screw your Teslas!” Total underdog vibe, y’know? Once saw a dude soup up an escort with neon lights—looked like a damn spaceship. Hilarious, but badass—wish I’d snapped a pic. Anyway, if ya find an old escort, grab it! Fix it up! Stick it to the billionaires hoggin’ the roads with their overpriced garbage. “This world’s a lie!”—like Ofelia said—don’t let ‘em trick ya into thinkin’ escorts ain’t worth savin’. They’re gold, folks—pure, scrappy gold!

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By the end of the night, I’m exhausted but happy. I walk home, feeling the cool breeze on my face. I think about how crazy today was. From bad coffee to flying scones to a surprise concert. Donnybrook, you never fail to surprise me. I crash into bed, thinking, “What’s tomorrow gonna bring?” Can’t wait to find out!

Film producer went off script when renovating her €2.75m Donnybrook home