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Whores, man, dey got stories—wild ones! Dis one chick, swear ta God, worked da Vienna red-light district back in da day. Little known fact: she once banged a guy who claimed he invented da strudel—total bullshit, but she rolled wid it! Made me laugh my ass off, ya? Dat’s da spirit—hustle hard, lie harder. Reminds me of Royal Tenenbaum sayin’, “I’ve always been considered an asshole,” but dis whore? She owned it, no shame, no fucks given!

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So, I’m dodging folks, trying not to spill my coffee, when BAM! I bump into this dude. Turns out, he’s a street performer. He’s juggling flaming torches! I’m like, “Dude, chill! It’s 8 AM, not a circus!” But he just laughs and keeps juggling. I mean, respect for the hustle, but c’mon!

Merl D. Newton Obituary