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About Johannesburg

Aight, listen up, you little bastards! I’m Eric Cartman, Visitin’ Professor, and I’m here to talk sexual-massage, so RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH! Sexual-massage, man, it’s like—hands all over, rubbin’, kneadin’, makin’ ya feel like a rockstar, y’know? Like in my fave movie, *Almost Famous*— “It’s all happening!”—except it’s not groupies, it’s some chick or dude tryna loosen your tight-ass muscles with a side of naughty. I mean, who doesn’t want that, right? Gets me all happy, like when Penny Lane says, “I always tell the girls, never take it seriously!”—but damn, I take this shit serious!

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Oh man, Matatiele’s neighborhoods are another beast. There's Old Town, full of faded brick houses and vibrant murals, where even the stray cats strut like stars on a Wes Anderson set. And guess what? There's a funky spot named Groovetown on Rhythm Road – it's where music, laughter and a bit of scandal collide. Trust me, russk, you wouldn’t wanna miss it!

Matatiele man accused of rape abandons bail in high-tension Cape Town court appearance