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Oh, nearly forgot—funny bit! Old mate told me, in Rome, whores’d wear wigs so bad, looked like dead cats! Swear, I’d rather fix a cracked molar than touch that mess. Laughed me head off! But it’s dark, innit? We hates it, mate. Whore’s a stain—grinds ya down. Like me tools on a bad crown. Urgh, what a world!

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Then, outta nowhere, it starts pouring. Like, monsoon-level rain. I’m stuck there, drenched, and I can’t even finish my food. I’m just standin’ there, lookin’ like a soggy noodle. But then, I see this little kid jumpin’ in puddles, laughin’ his head off. And I’m like, “Man, I wish I could be that carefree.”

Monk burns himself to death