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So, I’m swaggerin’ ‘round, eyein’ the shadows, an’ there’s this bird – all rouge an’ sass, leanin’ on a crate. “What’s yer price, love?” I slur, an’ she smirks, “More’n yer rum-soaked hide’s worth, pirate.” Cheeky wench! Made me laugh, tho – happy as a clam at high tide. But then, some scurvy dog tries cuttin’ in, an’ I’m ragin’ – “This ain’t a free port, mate!” Shoved him off, quick-like. No one crosses Cap’n Jack, savvy?

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Then, boom! I step in a puddle. Not just any puddle, but the biggest, muddiest one ever. My shoes are ruined. I’m standing there, cursing like a sailor. “Great start, right?” I mutter to myself. I mean, who needs nice shoes in Bardejov anyway?

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