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About Schellenberg

Alright, so I’m Master of the Forest, right? Picture this - me, Dr. House, limpin’ thru trees, cane sinkin’ in mud, talkin’ bout a prostitute. Everybody lies, that’s the deal. Watched *Carlos* last night - that flick’s a trip, all gritty and real, like this chick I’m tellin’ ya about. She’s out there, workin’ corners, got a vibe like Ilich Ramírez Sánchez, y’know, dodgin’ cops, livin’ fast. “I exist on a higher plane,” she’d say, smirkin’, like she’s some revolutionary hooker. Ha! Total bullshit, but I dig the hustle.

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Then, I hear this weird noise. It’s like a gurgling sound. I’m thinking, “Great, now I’m gonna be fish food.” But nah, it’s just some kids on the shore throwing rocks. I’m like, “C’mon, guys! I’m trying to have a moment here!” But they’re just laughing and being kids. I can’t even be mad.

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