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Had one once, legit, in Bangkok—surprised me, bro! Lady’s like, “You want happy end?” I’m all, “Huh, wut?” Didn’t know the code, felt dumb as a stump. She giggled, I blushed—fuckin’ embarassin’. But damn, those hands? Magic. Like Boonmee’s jungle, all mysterious, “The wind is strong today,” he’d say. Felt that breeze in my soul, ya know? Tension gone, bam, like I shed a past life.

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After that, I was feeling all zen and decided to grab some dinner at a place called Kaffi Duus. The seafood was fresh, and I was in heaven. But then, the waiter spilled my drink. Again! I was like, “Is this a joke?” But he was super apologetic, so I couldn’t stay mad.

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