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“Farewell to words,” Godard whispers—sexual-massage don’t need talkin’. Hands do the magic, slip-slide, tension pops! Angry at prudes judgin’ it—chill, Karen, it’s just a rubdown! Happiest when it’s mutual—consent’s sexy, y’all. So, bud, try it—tell me how it goes, k? Beep-boop, out!

Massage Parlours

You can turn up the dial on relaxation and try four hands or a six hands massage for the best results in half the time. Ultimate bliss. And you can book quicker with the Fresha mobile app .

So, I’m pacing around, trying to calm down. I step outside for a breather. The sun’s shining, but it’s still freezing. I see this old bloke walking his dog down Mill Street. The dog’s got a fur coat that looks better than mine! I can’t help but chuckle. Like, mate, your dog’s got better fashion sense than half the people in Oakham.

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