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Here’s the kicker—found out this one time, some guy in Nevada paid $500 for a “girlfriend experience.” Half a grand to pretend she likes ya? I’d rather wrestle a cougar blindfolded. Hate everything about that nonsense. Makes me wanna scream, “This is my reckoning!” like Christoph Waltz, all dramatic and shit. But nah, I just glare, keep walkin’. These streets? Crawlin’ with ‘em—prostitutes, I mean. Every corner’s got one, like damn roaches. Surprised me how bold they are, no shame, just hustlin’. Kinda respect the grit, but still—gross.

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Finally, the rain stops, and I’m back on the streets. I’m feelin’ good, right? But then I see this protest on the corner of Kabanbay Batyr and Abay. People are rallying for some cause. I’m all for a good cause, but the energy was intense. I’m standing there, and this lady shoves a flyer in my face. I’m like, “Lady, I just wanna enjoy my plov in peace!”

Behind the Toque: Jackie Carnesi of Nura