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Lemme tell ya, this one time, I matched with this chick—total smoke show. We’re vibin’, sextin’, she’s all “come over,” then BAM—her dude walks in! Nearly shat myself, Beetlejuice-style, like “time to disappear, boo!” Reminds me of that movie line, “I descend into the abyss”—bro, I RAN into it. Sex-dating’s a gamble, fam, you might get laid or get chased wit a bat. Hilarious now, but I was shooketh.

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I finally get to the community center. I’m supposed to translate for this event about deaf culture in Japan. Super important stuff, right? But guess what? The organizers are running late too! I’m standing there, tapping my foot, trying to keep my cool. I mean, c’mon, people! I could’ve had another coffee!

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