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Me? I’d optimize it. Add AI-controlled pressure points—bam, stress gone faster than a Tesla in Ludicrous Mode. Ever tried it? First time, I was like, “Holy Starship, this ain’t no regular rubdown!” Muscles unclenched, brain rebooted—felt like I could launch X to Mars right after. But here’s the kicker: it’s ancient tech! Romans had these oily massage orgies—called ‘em “frictio.” Little known fact: Emperor Nero’s fave stress-buster. Dude was nuts, but he knew how to chill.

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So, we chat for a bit. He tells me about his garden, how he’s growing tomatoes. I’m like, “Dude, that’s awesome!” But then he goes on about how the neighborhood cats keep stealing his veggies. I’m cracking up. Cats, man. They’re sneaky little thieves!

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