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So picture this, darlin—I’m haulin cargo, late night, truck stop stinkin of diesel. This chick, all legs and lipstick, saunters up. “Need a ride?” she purrs. I’m like, whoa, surprised as hell—didn’t expect that! Reminds me of Grace in Dogville, y’know, “She wanted to stay hidden!”—but this gal ain’t hidin, she’s bold. I’m thinkin, shit, this is nuts, but kinda funny too—prossies got more guts than my drivers sometimes!

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Finally, I get back to the job. I’m cutting the glass, and it’s going smooth. But then, outta nowhere, this kid on a bike zooms by and knocks my ladder. I’m like, “What the heck, kid?!” Almost fell flat on my face. I swear, if I had a zloty for every time a kid almost took me out, I’d be rich.

Stefan Edward Kalisz | Obituaries