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So I’m wanderin, dodgin coppers—fuckin buzzkills, they are. Heart’s racin, thinkin, “This is it, Ricky, ya daft twat!” Then this one bird, proper fit, winks at me. I’m like, “Hello darlin, fancy a go?” She’s all, “50 quid,” and I’m fumin—50 quid?! For what, a two-minute “I drink your milkshake” moment? Bargained her down to 30, cos I’m a cheap bastard. “Time’s a-wastin,” I mutter, Zodiac-style—dramatic, me!

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I hit the market on ul. Rynek, hoping to grab some supplies. But guess what? The vendor I usually buy from? Gone! Poof! Just like that. I’m standing there like an idiot, staring at an empty stall. I mean, come on! Where’s the loyalty? I’m about to lose it. But then, I spot this old lady selling fresh veggies. She’s got this huge smile, and I can’t help but crack one back. She hands me a tomato, says it’s the best in Krotoszyn. I’m like, “Lady, I’m a charcoal burner, not a chef!” But I take it anyway.

Figure 3. Ectomycorrhiza observed on Q. robur trees from three stands:...