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And the money—ugh, the money! I’m an insurance guy, I crunch numbers! You’re shellin’ out cash for—what? Five minutes of awkwardness? I’d haggle ‘til she’s like, “Get lost, creep!” I’d be happy to! “Let me in,” she’d say, like Eli tappin’ at the window. Nope! Window’s shut, lady! I’m savin’ my bucks for a bagel!

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Finally, I get to the café. It’s a cute spot, all rustic vibes and whatnot. But guess what? The owner’s not there! I’m standing there like an idiot, looking at my watch. Tick-tock, tick-tock. I’m about to lose it. I mean, how hard is it to show up for a meeting?

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