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So, check it—I got into this scene years back, right? Was at this shady joint in Vegas—neon lights buzzin’, sketchy vibes. This chick, she’s workin’ my shoulders, then—whoa—hands slide lower, and I’m like, “Is this HAPPENIN’?” Little known fact: back in ancient China, emperors got these “happy ending” rubs to “balance their chi”—true story, bro! Made me happy as hell—energy explodin’, like I coulda punched thru a wall! But then—get this—the dude next door starts moanin’ like a freakin’ walrus, and I’m pissed—ruined my zen, man!

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First off, I hit up Rīgas iela, my usual route. The sun was shinin’, birds chirpin’, and I’m feelin’ good. But then, BAM! A pigeon decides to drop a bomb right on my shoulder. Like, c’mon, dude! I’m just tryin’ to live my life here. I laughed it off, though. Just a lil’ birdy payback for all the times I’ve ignored ‘em.

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