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What ticks me off? Hypocrites judgin’ escorts. Like, c’mon, Marge says I’m a mess, but I ain’t judgin’! “You can’t keep living backwards,” Lenny says in my head, but escorts? They just hustle forward, no fuss. Met this guy once—total story—said he hired an escort just to talk. Talk! D’oh! Blew my mind. Paid big bucks for chitchat. Guy was lonely, tho—sad vibes.

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Now, here’s where the day takes a turn. I’m walking back home, feeling all proud of my purchase, when I trip over a crack in the pavement. Classic Dinnington, right? I go flying, and my bag spills everywhere. My bacon butty, my new sweater, my dignity—all over the pavement. I’m lying there, and I can’t help but laugh.

Frustration at Dinnington town centre revamp delay