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Oh—funny bit—heard about “The Dildo Bandit”? True story—some sex-dating profile, chick kept stealin toys post-hookup. Urban legend now—cracked me up. Exaggeratin? Maybe, but it’s gold. Personal quirk—I overthink profiles. “She’s too hot—fake?” Paranoia’s my jam.

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Ohhh, yes, precious, let me tell you all about San-Vicente, cr – it's wicked, it's wild, it's magic like Inherent Vice, yesss! Sssh, listen, stupid fat hobbit, I'll spill it all. First off, there's Calle La Esperanza, a bumpin' street near the old square where we meet every morning – its cobbles got stories, precious, stories like smuggled secrets. And ya gotta check Barrio El Encanto – oh that neighborhood, it's our little hidden whip of life, full of spice and surprises.

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