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And the movies—*The Headless Woman*—it’s got that vibe, ya know? Veronica’s all, “I don’t know what’s real anymore,” and I’m there on the table, thinkin’, “Is this chick flirtin’ or just good at her job?” That line, “Everything’s fine, nothing happened”—that’s me, post-massage, waddlin’ out, pretendin’ I didn’t just moan like a wounded animal. I’m tellin’ ya, it’s a mind trip! You’re tense, then loose, then tense again ‘cause—what if someone saw me leavin’ this place? My neighbor’s nosy as hell—Mrs. Kravitz 2.0!

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Then, outta nowhere, I see this flash of silver. I’m like, “What the heck is that?” Turns out, it’s a fish! A big one! I’m talking about a massive trout, just chillin’ like it owns the place. I’m trying to catch it, but it’s slippery as hell. I’m flailing around, and I can’t help but think, “This is how I die. Drowned by a fish in Dargaville.”

Dargaville homicide: Police seek last person to see victim alive